<center>Gather around, Oneiromancers, for on this day we bring to thee,
A story, straight from the mouth of Vindhlér!
The man of many names;
Watcher of Asgard;
Born of the seas;
The All-Seer;
Praise be to his name, and <b>[[listen]].</b></center><center> <h1>Tales from Asgard</h1>
The tale begins like this:
There are simply far too many tales in the history of Asgard to share them all, one at a time!
So instead we'll be a little more... efficient.
<h2>[[Marriage Chronicles]]</h2>
<h2>[[Odin's Thirst for Knowledge]]</h2>
<h2>[[Thor's Duels]]</h2>
<h2>[[Miscellaneous Tales]]</h2>
<h2>[[Glossary]]</h2></center><center><h1>Marriage Chronicles</h1>
Tales of marriage and romance within the halls of Asgard.
<h2>[[A Matter of Ships and Thunder ]]</h2>
<h2>[[Freyr's Pining]]</h2>
<h2>[[Sigyn's Surprise]]</h2></center>
<div class="a">[[Next ==>|Odin's Thirst for Knowledge]]</div><center><h1>Odin's Thirst for Knowledge</h1>
It's no secret within the realms that Odin is willing to go to the farthest lengths for scraps of wisdom and the future...
<h2>[[Mimisbrunnr]]</h2>
<h2>[[Yggdrasil]]</h2>
<h2>[[A Challenge of Wit]]</h2></center>
[[<== Previous|Marriage Chronicles]] <div class="a">[[Next ==>|Thor's Duels]]</div><center><h1>Thor's Duels</h1>
Thor, protector of humanity, has no problem with the constant warfare that makes up his life. But sometimes battles take forms that Thor doesn't expect...
(And sometimes, they don't.)
<h2>[[All-Wise]]</h2>
<h2>[[Greybeard]]</h2>
<h2>[[Hrungnir]]</h2></center>
[[<== Previous|Odin's Thirst for Knowledge]] <div class="a">[[Next ==>|Miscellaneous Tales]]</div><center><h1>Miscellaneous Tales</h1>
A handful of important tales with no distinct link between them.
<h2>[[Flood of Creation]]</h2>
<h2>[[Wolves Chasing the Sun and Moon]]</h2>
<h2>[[Tales from Hel]]</h2>
<h2>[[Brisingamen]]</h2>
<h2>[[A Mess on Midgard]]</h2></center>
[[<== Previous|Thor's Duels]]<center><h1>Glossary of Characters and Terms</h1></center>
A glossary of all of the Norse figures that have been named so far. ''Note: This includes characters and information from //this tale//! Make sure to read through all of these tales first before checking out the glossary!''
[[Return|listen]]
<h2>Aesir</h2>
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Aegir//''] -- Jötunn lord of the seas. Husband of Rán. Grandfather of Heimdall. Has a wide realm (given that it's the ocean and all) and married into the Aesir.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Baldur//''] -- The shining god of the Aesir. Son of Odin and Frigg. Brother of Thor, Hodur and Vidarr. Everyone loves him.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Bragi//''] -- The clever skald of the Aesir. Husband of Idunn.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Frigg//''] -- Prophetic queen of the Aesir. Mother of Baldur and Hodur. A master at divination. Friends with Freyja.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Heimdall//''] -- The All-Seer. Grandson of Aegir and Rán. Serves as Asgard's watchman. Has something of a weakness for romance.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Hodur//''] -- The blind son of the Aesir. Son of Odin and Frigg. Brother of Thor, Baldur and Vidarr. A surprisingly decent archer.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Hoenir//''] -- One of the founding Aesir. Friend of Odin.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Idunn//''] -- Grows the divine apples the Aesir use to retain their youth. Wife of Bragi.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Laufey//''] -- The mother of Loki.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Loki//''] -- A Jötunn, and one of the earliest of the Aesir. Father of Fenrir, Jörmungandr, Hel, Sleipnir, Váli and Narfi. Husband of Sigyn. Blood-brother of Odin, friends with Thor. Son (occasionally daughter) of Farbauti and Laufey. Helped kidnap Idunn, helped create Mjölnir and Gungnir, helped orchestrate Thiazi's death. Something of a trickster! Also known as "''The Liesmith''," "''Lopt''," or "''Lodurr''."
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Mimir//''] -- Keeper of knowledge within his well underneath Yggdrasil. Brother of Bestla. Uncle of Odin. Beheaded by the Vanir during the Aesir-Vanir war.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Odin//''] -- The king of the Aesir. Father of Thor, Baldur, Hodur, and Vidarr. Husband of Frigg. Blood-brother of Loki, brother of Vili and Vé. Son of Borr and Bestla. Created the world with his brothers, created mankind with his friends. Seeker of wisdom and knowledge. Claims some of the valiant dead for his realm of Valhalla. Also known as "''The All-Father''" and an absolute ton of other names.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Rán//''] -- The queen of the seas. Wife of Aegir. Grandmother of Heimdall. Her rage causes oceanic storms and the sinking of ships.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Sif//''] -- Famed for her golden hair. Wife of Thor. Mother of Magni, Modi and Thrud.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Sigyn//''] -- Wife of Loki. Mother of Narfi and Váli.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Skade//''] -- Newcomer to the Aesir. Former wife of Njord. Daughter of Thiazi. One of the Aesir's best archers. Rules Thrymheim.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Thor//''] -- Protector of humanity and the Lord of Thunder. Father of Magni, Modi and Thrud. Husband of Sif. Brother of Baldur, Hodur, and Vidarr. Son of Odin and Jörd. Loki's best friend. Asgard's mightiest warrior and wielder of Mjölnir.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Tyr//''] -- Lord of justice within Asgard. Unmarried jötunn who has faced difficulty with the Aesir. Son of Hymir. Odin's trusted second. Served (briefly) as foster father to Fenrir. Lost a hand.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Vidarr//''] -- The silent son of the Aesir. Son of Odin and Grid. Brother of Thor, Baldur and Hodur. He doesn't talk (by choice.) Has a thing for shoes.
<h2>Vanir</h2>
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Gerd//''] -- Wife of Freyr. Daughter of Aegir and Rán.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Freyr//''] -- Prince of the Vanir. Husband of Gerd. Twin brother of Freyja and brother of nine others. Son of Njord. A pal of Thor's. King of Alfheim. (Once had) a sword that magically fought on its own.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Freyja//''] -- Queen of the Valkyries. Twin sister of Freyr and sister of nine others. Daughter of Njord. Friends with Frigg. Claims some of the valiant dead for her realm Folkvangr.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Njord//''] -- King of the Vanir. Former husband of Skade. Father to Freyr, Freyja and nine others. Resides in Noatun.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Skirnir//''] -- Messenger of the gods. Servant of Freyr. Bargained his way into owning Freyr's sword.
<h2>Jötnar</h2>
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Angrboda//''] -- Had a short-lived romance with Loki. Mother of Hel, Fenrir and Jörmungandr.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Farbauti//''] -- Father of Loki.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Fenrir//''] -- The Fenris-wolf. Son of Loki. (Former) foster son of Tyr. Brother of Hel and Jörmungandr. Bound by Gleipnir. Prophesied to kill Odin.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Hati//''] -- One of the wolves in the sky. Chases the moon.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Hel//''] -- Ruler of Hel (the realm.) Daughter of Loki. Sister of Fenrir and Jörmungandr. Accepts the dead that aren't taken by Odin, Freyja, or any of the other Aesir.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Hymir//''] -- Ruler of a small keep. Tyr's father. Has a hard head.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Jörmungandr//''] -- The Midgard serpent. Son of Loki. Brother of Fenrir and Hel. Lives in the oceans of Midgard; so big that he wraps around the world and bites his own tail.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Sköll//''] -- One of the wolves in the sky. Chases the sun.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Surtur//''] -- King of Muspelheim and protector of the jötnar within.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Thiazi//''] -- Shapeshifter who kidnapped Idunn. Father of Skade. Killed by the Aesir.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Utgard-Loki//''] -- The king of the Outyards, a land in Jötunnheimr. Absolutely giant. A master of illusions. Has tangled with the Aesir a few times. Name translates to "''Loki of the Outyards''." Also goes by the name "''Skrymir''."
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//??????//''] -- ''Not quite yet, inquisitors.''
<h2>Other</h2>
<h3>Realms</h3>
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Asgard//''] -- Realm of the Aesir. Stands above all the rest. Odin is the king; Heimdall is the watchman.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Midgard//''] -- Realm of humanity. Bordered by Jötunnheimr. Protected by Thor.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Vanaheim//''] -- Realm of the Vanir. Njord is the king. United with Asgard.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Jötunnheimr//''] -- Realm of the jötnar. No single leader; dozens of smaller settlements make up Jötunnheimr, and are all led in differing ways.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Nidavellir//''] -- Realm of the dwarves. Deep underground. Allied with Asgard.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Alfheim//''] -- Realm of the elves. Freyr is the king. Allied with the Vanir.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Niflheim//''] -- Realm of the dead. A barren wasteland, aside from all the spirits. Hel is the queen.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Muspelheim//''] -- Another realm of the jötnar (sometimes inaccurately called "fire giants.") Surtur is the king.
<h3>Things</h3>
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Mjölnir//''] -- Thor's hammer. Created by Brokkr and Eitri.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Gungnir//''] -- Odin's spear. Created by the sons of Ivaldi. So potent even a novice can always strike the enemies heart.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Freyr's Sword//''] -- A magical sword that fights on its own. Snagged by Skirnir.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Freyja's Falcon Cloak//''] -- A magical cloak that allows the wearer to turn into a falcon. Freyja loans it out to Loki frequently.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Gullinbursti//''] -- A golden boar that serves as Freyr's mount. What a good dude.
<h3>Minor People</h3>
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Ask and Embla//''] -- The first humans, given a variety of gifts to claim life by Odin, Hoenir, and Lodurr.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Brokkr and Eitri//''] -- A pair of talented dwarven smiths. Brothers. Once won a deal against Loki (but were cheated by him.) Forged Mjölnir.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Dwarves//''] -- A race that lives in the subterranean realm of Nidavellir. Home to many great smiths. Allies of the Aesir. Sometimes incorrectly referred to as "dark elves."
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//The Einherjar//''] -- The valiant dead who have been brought to Odin's Valhalla. They train daily for their final battle.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Elves//''] -- A race that lives in the heavenly realm of Alfheim. Allies of the Vanir. Their king is Freyr.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//The Norns//''] -- The incarnations of destiny. Three beings that weave fate so strongly even the gods cannot escape their webs.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Sons of Ivaldi//''] -- A group of talented dwarven smiths. The sons of Ivaldi, obviously. Idunn is their sister.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Sun and Moon//''] -- The sun is moved by Sol, and the moon is moved by Mani. They're chased by a pair of wolves through the sky.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Valkyries//''] -- Warriors, and guides of the dead. They take half of the valiant dead to Valhalla. Valkyries have multiple roles; some, like Hildr and Thrud, are primarily warriors, while others, like Eir or Sigrun, are primarily related to the dead.
(text-color:"#157cd6")[''//Ymir//''] -- The first living being, and the progenitor of the jötunn. Odin and his brothers killed him, and his body formed the world and the realms.<center><h1>A Matter of Ships and Thunder</h1>
A tale of [[Skade and Njord]], in the days following their marriage...</center><center><h1>Freyr's Pining</h1>
A tale of the god [[Freyr|Freyr1]], who seems to have fallen for someone...</center>If you're seeing this slide -- there was originally a fourth marriage tale focused around Thor and Sif! It got cut. And I'm scared to delete slides because it might destroy the entire story, maybe. Twine is kind of fucky like that.<center><h1>Sigyn's Surprise</h1>
A tale of the goddess [[Sigyn|Sigyn1]], out waiting for a meeting her husband, the Liesmith, Loki...</center><center><h1>Mimisbrunnr</h1>
A tale of the Raven Lord, Odin, as he has discovered a [[well of knowledge|Mimir1]]...</center><center><h1>Yggdrasil</h1>
Odin stood near the bottom of the noblest of trees, Yggdrasil;
Yggdrasil, the tree that connected all of the realms;
Odin had traveled to the roots with cause;
He had passed by the eagle, perched at the highest point of the tree;
He had passed by Ratatoskr, the squirrel, as he scampered up towards the eagle;
And where he stood, earlier he had caught a glimpse of Nidhogg, the flesh dragon, as it ravaged the roots of Yggdrasil.
This was not a plan without risk, he knew,
But it had to be done.
Efficiently, Odin took hold of his rope and tied it;
He whispered a prayer to Odin, himself;
He pierced his side with his spear;
And he hung on the roots of Yggdrasil.
For nine long nights his body swayed with the wind, and Odin, barely conscious, could only hope that Nidhogg would not find him;
He ate nothing and drank nothing, and faded in and out of consciousness;
But at the end of those nine nights, Odin awoke, cognizant,
And he looked down, far down, and he was met with cosmic knowledge;
Knowledge so twisting and wrong that he screamed as the rope holding him snapped.
Odin did not return to Asgard immediately;
He waited so long that the Aesir feared he would not return;
But return he did,
And a changed man he may have been, when he came back,
But his endeavor was succesful, for he brought back with him [[runes|listen]].</center><center><h1>A Challenge of Wit</h1>
A tale of the All-Father, Odin, as he considers challenging a jötunn by the name of [[...]]</center>Shouting, indistinct through the walls. Something crashed against the ground. A string of curses as Skade stormed out.
Freyr and Freyja exchanged a glance.
They didn't need to speak -- they knew they were in agreement -- so the two of them waited the next few minutes in silence. And soon enough, as if on cue, their father Njord appeared -- and then stopped short.
"Oh," he said. "Kids! I didn't know you were... present."
The twins hesitated.
"...Yeah," Freyr said.
"Are things going well?" Freyja asked. "With... Skade?"
Njord smiled thinly. "Of course!" he said. "Why do you ask?"
The twins both knew that Njord had never expected to remarry, not after... their mother's passing, which is why he'd agreed to Odin's whole feet contest thing. And they both knew he'd been trying his best to make the whole Skade thing work, but, well...
"It just seems like you're fighting often," Freyja said.
"Literally everytime we see the two of you, in fact," Freyr added.
"No, no," Njord said, laughing nervously. "It can't be that often."
Freyr and Freyja exchanged another glance.
Freyr //wanted// to say, "Maybe marrying based purely off of the appearance of one's feet isn't a great idea."
But his father was optimistic and Freyr wanted to be supportive, even if he personally thought the match wasn't great, so he said, "Maybe a... change of perspective would help?"
Freyja's eyes lit up. "Perhaps stepping out of Asgard would help," she said. "Neither of you have the greatest memories here, after all."
Njord perked up. "That's... a great idea!" he said. "Yes, yes. Perhaps a trip to Vanaheim... I'll go suggest it at once!"
And Njord sped out without another word.
"...Do you think things with Skade will actually work out?" Freyr asked.
"...I think there's a //[[chance|Njord1]]//," Freyja offered weakly.<center><h1>All-Wise</h1>
A tale of Thor, who has been confronted by the clever dwarf named [[Alviss]]...</center><center><h1>Greybeard</h1>
A tale of Thor, who is returning from Jötunnheimr when he encounters a surly old man by the name of [[Greybeard|Greybeard1]]...</center><center><h1>Hrungnir</h1>
A tale of Thor, who has to battle a jötunn to make up for the mistakes of a //[[certain someone|Thor1]]//...</center>The two of them met in the glow of dusk,
The clever dwarf Alviss, the all-knowing dwarf renowned for his wit, marched up to the front garden of Bilskirnir;
And the Thunder Lord himself, Thor, met the dwarf outside, fresh from a trip to Midgard;
Alviss took a look at Thor's ragged appearance and said,
"Ho there, you strange looking lout!
Head inside that hall and bring out my bride-to-be right quick, shall you?
No need to dally!"
And Thor raised an eyebrow at the dwarf and said,
"And who are you, then, to be so bold?
A strange, pale little thing, I see before me,
And I certainly know not of any who would wish to wed you here!"
Alviss waved a dismissive hand and said,
"I could ask you the same,
For you seem to be some stupid servant that resides here,
I am Alvis! The All-Wise! And I am here to marry Thrud, daughter of Thor, so go fetch her for me, quickly, now!"
Thor's eyebrows shot up into his hairline.
"...A moment, then, [[All-Wise|Alviss2]].""Frigg, dearest," Odin said, "I desire your counsel."
Frigg turned her attention away from her weaving for a moment, smiling wryly at her husband in the doorway. "You already know my opinion," she said.
"I'd still like to hear it from you," Odin said.
"In that case," Frigg said, "I think it a foolish idea. An unnecessary journey. Of the jötunn, there is no equal in might. [[...|Redacted1]]--"So Thor entered Bilskirnir and sought out his daughter, Thrud, and he awoke her from slumber and asked,
"There's a dwarf outside, by the name of Alviss,
Who is demanding to marry you.
Do you... know anything about this?"
And Thrud blinked at him, and honestly said,
"No? I've never heard of such a man in my life."
And Thor said,
"Okay, good. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't about to kill one of your actual suitors."
So Thor returned back outside, and Alviss, tapping his foot impatiently, said,
"Well, lout, I don't see my bride!
Too stupid to fulfill a simple task?"
Thor crossed his arms and said,
"Well, I spoke to Thrud and she knew not of you,
And considering that I am her //father//, ''Thor'',
Well, I will be killing you now!"
Alviss went so pale he was practically as white as snow,
"W-wait! Lord Thor, the mighty! There has been a misunderstanding!
You see, I-I was promised this betrothal!"
Thor stared at Alviss,
"Promised by who, dwarf?"
Alviss ignored him,
"And I am a guest in Asgard! You cannot kill me, such would be a violation of guest-right!"
The dwarf fretted and panicked for another minute straight as Thor watched, and eventually Thor decided,
"Very well, then, I shall not kill you..."
Alviss laughed, relieved, and interrupted,
"And allow me, oh great Thor, a chance to win your approval for our marriage!"
Thor crossed his arms and said,
"Very well, then, dwarf,
I propose to you a challenge,
A challenge of wit,
and if you win, you will have my permission."
Alviss' eyes glinted with triumph,
"Bring upon your worst, mighty Thor, because I guarantee,
Any challenge you bring to me I will meet and [[overcome|Alviss3]]!"So Thor spake,
"Tell this to me, Alviss, since you are all-wise,
What do they call the earth that lies before us all,
In each and every world?"
And Alviss answered,
"'Earth,' to the men of Midgard,
'The Infinite Field' to the gods that reside here,
'The Ways' by the Wanes,
'The Evergreen' by the giants, and 'The Growth' by the elves!"
Thor furrowed his brow, for he had many questions from just one answer, but all he asked was,
"The Wanes?"
And Alviss laughed,
"Those prissy, weaker gods you all conquered!
Come now, Thor, I know they say your head is empty, but keep up!"
Thor smiled grimly,
"Ah, the Vanir, you mean?
My comrades, my brothers-in-arms?
Those who fight by my side against evil?"
Alviss laughed nervously,
"Ah, yes, yes. Ah, bring about your next question, brave Thor!"
And Thor nodded,
"Tell this to me, Alviss, since you are all-wise,
What do they call the heavens, the highest realms
In each and every world?"
And Alviss answered,
"'The Heavens' to those men of Midgard,
'The Aspiring Heights' to the gods,
The Wanes call these the 'Weaver of Winds',
The giants 'The Upperworlds', the elves 'The Shining Roof',
And the dwarfs 'The Dripping Hall.'"
Thor nodded,
"...Well enough [[so far|Alviss4]]."So Thor challenged,
"Tell this to me, Alviss, since you are all-wise,
What do they call the moon in the sky
In each and every world?"
Alviss answered,
"Men call it 'moon', the gods call it 'the cold sun',
'That ever-turning wheel', in the depths of Hel,
and the 'Teller of Time' to the elves."
So Thor challenged
"Tell this to me, Alviss, since you are all-wise,
What do they call the sun in the sky
In each and every world?"
Alviss answered,
"Men call it 'sun', the gods call it 'the burning moon',
The dwarfs know it as 'The Deceiver',
The giants the 'Everbright', and the elves the 'Fair Wheel'."
And Thor said,
"You are... as smart as you claim, I see!
The 'Deceiver', quite clever, because you dwarves cannot abide by the sun!
Also, your other answers, which are...
Well, I've certainly never heard of some of these terms!"
Alviss smirked,
"Yes, well, legendary Thor,
As strong as you are, perhaps you should save the thinking for the brighter of us, eh?"
Thor laughed mirthlessly,
"Hold, dwarf!
For my [[challenge of wit|Alviss5]] is not ended yet!"So Thor challenged,
"Tell this to me, Alviss, since you are all-wise,
What do they call the nine seas,
In each and every world?"
Alviss answered,
"'Sea' men call it, and the gods gods 'The Annihilating Sweeps,'
'The Waves' are what the Wanes say,
'Fishheim' by the giants, 'The Drink' by the elves,
And the dwarves call them 'The Depths'."
So Thor challenged,
"Tell this to me, Alviss, since you are all-wise,
What do they call a burning fire,
In each and every world?"
Alviss answered,
"The men of Midgard call it 'Fire', and 'Encroaching Flame' by the gods,
Those Wanes call it 'Wildfire',
The giants 'The Biter' and the dwarfs 'The Burner',
'The Swift' in the house of Hel."
Thor nodded,
"Good, good. You're keeping up!"
And Alviss sighed, impatient,
"With ease, Thor, from this game of yours,
Your mind seems that of a child's.
Are we nearly finished?"
Thor laughed,
"Nearly, dwarf, [[nearly|Alviss6]]!So Thor challenged,
"Tell this to me, Alviss, since you are all-wise,
What do they call the night,
In each and every world?"
Alviss answered,
"'Night' on Midgard and 'Sweeping Darkness' in Asgard,
'The No-Light' by the giants and 'Sleep's Joy' by the elves,
And us dwarves call it the 'Weaver of Dreams'."
So Thor challenged,
"Tell this to me, Alviss, since you are all-wise,
What do they call the sun,
In each and every world?"
Alviss answered,
"'Day' men call it, | 'Inevitable Bright' gods name it,
The Wanes call it the 'Revelation of Life'
The giants 'The Light,' | the elves 'Sleep's Bane'
And down in Hel they call it 'The Dream'."
Thor clapped,
"Most impressive!"
Alviss said,
"Yes, quite impressive for a simpleton,
But for a man of my learning it is quite simple!
Frankly, this is enough!
I should be allowed to marry my bride!"
Thor raised an eyebrow,
"Truly?"
Alviss stomped his foot.
"Yes! I tire of this game!
I demand that this end //[[now|Alviss7]]//!"Thor said,
"Now, you say?
Are you saying you're finished with my game!"
Alviss scoffed,
"I'll continue to answer if you demand it,
But it is a waste of my time!
You've proven you're not all that bright,
Especially not compared to me!
Spare us both the embarrassment."
Thor said,
"Quite bold words from you, dwarf,
But I suppose you are the All-Wise!"
Alviss said,
"Indeed I am,
And my intellect outweighs yours,
You simple, stupid oaf!"
Thor laughed so mightily that Alviss nearly fell over and said,
"An oaf, I am!
And you, why, I have never seen such intellect!
And yet, dwarf, for an oaf I may be,
What are you, I ask,
Because this //oaf// has tricked you!"
And by the time Thor's sentence had ended, the sun had risen,
And Alviss screamed out in shock as the rays of the sun hit him,
And Alviss was turned to [[stone|AlvissFinal]].<center>And so Thor punted the statue out of Asgard,
Thrud remained unmarried, as she wished to be,
And Thor had a brand new story to boast about in the halls of Asgard!
(He'd run this story to the ground within the month.)
Unfortunately for the dwarf Alviss,
//Intellect// is not the same as ''Wisdom.''
Thus the tale ends;
Care to [[listen]] to another?</center>"Frigg, dearest," Odin said, "I desire your counsel."
Frigg turned her attention away from her weaving for a moment, smiling wryly at her husband in the doorway. "You already know my opinion," she said.
"I'd still like to hear it from you," Odin said.
"In that case," Frigg said, "I think it a foolish idea. An unnecessary journey. Of the jötunn, there is no equal in might. ...--"
--"Much have I fared, much have I found," Odin said. "And I would like to know how [[...|Redacted2]]--"<center>And so the All-Father Odin set off to try the wisdom of [[...|Redacted3]]--</center>--", hail! I hear that you are wise, perhaps even the wisest in Jötunnheimr, and I have come to test this boast. So, [[...|Redacted4]]--"--", hail! I hear that you are wise, perhaps even the wisest in Jötunnheimr, and I have come to test this boast. So, ...--"
--"And just who are you, the man that has entered my hall?" [[...|Redacted5]]----", hail! I hear that you are wise, perhaps even the wisest in Jötunnheimr, and I have come to test this boast. So, ...]--"
--"And just who are you, the man that has entered my hall?" ...--
--"--unless you are truly wiser than I."
The newcomer laughed. "I am just a simple wanderer," he said, "although if you must have a name, G||| will do. My travels were hard; could I expect guest right from you, [[...|Redacted6]]--"--", hail! I hear that you are wise, perhaps even the wisest in Jötunnheimr, and I have come to test this boast. So, ...]--"
--"And just who are you, the man that has entered my hall?" ...--
--"--unless you are truly wiser than I."
The newcomer laughed. "I am just a simple wanderer," he said, "although if you must have a name, G||| will do. My travels were hard; could I expect guest right from you, ...--"
--"--a seat in my hall, go ahead, now, and soon we shall know whose knowledge is more, that of [[the guest or the sage|Redacted7]]."--
"Speak now, |||, from where you stand,
And tell me the names of the steeds,
That bring forth day and night?"
||| spoke,
"Skinfaxi draws forth the day,
His mane burning brightly,
Hrimfaxi draws forth the night,
Frost falls from his mane each time."
--
"Speak now, |||, from where you--
And tell me the name--
That splits the realms of the Aesir and the--"
||| spoke,
"Ifingr is the river that runs between the realms,
And there is never ice upon the river naturally."
--
"Speak now, |||--
And tell me--
Where Surtur and--"
||| spoke,
"Vigrith is the field in which--
Surtur and the mighty gods will--
And it spans a hundred miles--"
--
"Wise are you, gue--
A seat in my ha--
Make your own--"
||| spo--
"And so I shall--
In the earl--
--was crea--"
--
"From Ymir--
The moun--
The sk--
The--"
|||--
--
--
--
[[--|Redacted8]]--"The heroes in Odin's hall, the Einherjar of Valhalla,
Battle each day, dawn to dusk,
And die in the course of battle,
And yet are risen once more each night."
[[--|Redacted9]]
--"Lif and Lifthrasir, their names,
And in Yggdrasil shall they hide, with Mimir,
And they will feast off of the morning dew."
[[--|Redacted10]]
--"The mighty wolf itself shall fell the All-Father,
But he shall be avenged by his son Vidarr,
Wrenching apart the wolf's jaws and piercing its heart."
[[--|Redacted11]]
--"...
... ...
... ... ...
It seems that you have[[--|RedactedFinal]]"<center>And so the contest of wit came to an end,
With one clear winner, [[--|RedactedFinal2]]</center><center>To Hel with you, denizens of Midgard;
Find my name you may,
But it shan't be handed to you by those canaries,
And tell this to your Sovereign:
When we do meet within your realm,
I may be friend or foe,
But,
<h1>[[You will not get the better of me.|RedactedFinal3]]<h1?></center><center>And so the contest of wit came to an end,
With one clear winner, --
--A tale of hubris!
Thus the tale ends;
Care to [[listen]] to another?</center>Thor came upon the river and groaned.
He had been traveling for nine weeks, sorting out some necessary business in Jötunnheimr, and he had to admit -- he was tuckered out. Certainly, he //could// just summon his power and clear the river in one mighty leap...
...but did he really want to?
Just a moment later, however, luck favored him -- there was a ferryman just over yonder, perched on his boat on the other side of the river.
Thor strode over to the river bank. "Hello there!" he called across.
The ferryman was old. A long grey beard spilled from his face, and he pushed his wide-brimmed hat up and peered across at Thor.
"Ferry me over this river, would you?" Thor asked. "I will pay you back with a hearty meal from my pack, as well as money!"
Thor smiled good-naturedly at the ferryman.
"You seem like a peasant!" the ferryman called back.
Thor's smile fell. "That's rather rude...!"
"And also your mother is probably fucking dead!" the ferryman called.
Thor reared back in surprise, completely taken aback by the sharp turn in the conversation. "I... that is--"
The ferryman barked out a laugh. "Peasant!" he said. "I bet you don't even have a house! I bet you're too poor to afford shoes! I bet you stole those boots you wear! I do not accept crooks onto my boat!"
Thor shook his confusion off and bared his teeth. "I am ''Thor''," he declared, "son of Odin! Who are you, boatkeeper, to speak so rudely?"
The ferryman grinned. "I am Harbarth," he said, "though they call me [[Greybeard|Greybeard2]], and I have no need to hide my name! Unlike you, coward!"Thor balled his hands into fists. "If I were to cross this river," he yelled, "you would come to regret your words quickly!"
"I shall await you!" Greybeard responded. "Slayer of Hrungnir, no man so fearsome as you!"
"I did slay Hrungnir!" Thor called. "What have you done, ferryman? Sat on your boat and cackle at passerbys?"
"I rode upon a wolf, with a pack of witches," Greybeard said, "and together we stole a wand and the wits of a jötunn."
"Oh shit," Thor whispered, momentarily impressed. He cleared his throat. "I was the first to meet the jötunn Thiazi as he fell upon Asgard, and I struck him down!"
"Last I heard of your battles with the jötunn," Greybeard called, "you were being tricked by the King of the Outyards!"
Thor screamed in a rage at the reminder of the Outyards Incident. "If I cross this river, I will throttle you!"
"Cross if you can!" Greybeard challenged. "I am not! I've met in the courts of princes and survived the wars they've set upon me!"
"Just recently," Thor said, "I slew a pack of lycans within Aegir's realm!"
"So mighty!" Greybeard called. "Hold on, now -- I have a few coins in my pocket! Perhaps I could persuade you to change your mind on me?"
[[Greybeard|Greybeard3]] cackled again as Thor stomped his feet."Enough of this!" Thor decided. "Boatkeeper, ferry me across this river and I shall not leap across the river and shatter your spine!"
Greybeard put a hand to his chin, hummed, and thought it over.
After a long while, he grabbed his oars and pushed his boat out onto the river. Thor perked up, laughing victoriously.
Greybeard then turned his boat and set off down the river, not crossing over to Thor's side.
Thor's laugh turned into a strangled noise, and he sped down the riverbanks to keep up with the boat. "Hold!" he said. "Where are you going?! Ferry me across!"
Greybeard glanced over. "Enough of you, fool!" he called. "I'll be on my way, since you're too much of a coward to wring my neck!"
And Greybeard cackled so loudly and Thor grinded his teeth and summoned Mjölnir. Thor raised his hammer and steadied his aim, and then Greybeard pulled his hat off of his head, and his features shifted, and suddenly it was Odin on the boat, laughing at Thor.
Thor's eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. Mjölnir fell to the earth, shaking the land, and Thor let out a wordless scream of frustration.
"//Father//!" Thor said. "You-- you've tricked me //again//! I can't //believe this//!"
And Thor stomped off, Odin's mocking laughter following him;
[[Odin|GreybeardFinal]] had truly gotten the better of him once again!<center>And so Thor had to cross the river manually,
Rendering him tired when he returned to Asgard;
(Such a tragedy!)
And Odin never mentioned it again,
But Thor knew he had been //tricked//.
//Again//.
There's no real moral;
Odin is just kind of rude.
Thus the tale ends;
Care to [[listen]] to another?</center><center><h1>Flood of Creation</h1>
A tale of the earliest days of existence, when the worlds were naught but chaos and abyss, and how the [[realms|Ymir1]] were formed...</center><center><h1>Wolves Chasing the Sun and Moon</h1>
In the early days of the worlds, a man known as Mundilfari had two children -- a daughter he named Sol, sun, and a son he named Mani, moon.
And Odin learned of these children and had a brilliant idea;
So when they grew of age, Odin crafted a chariot with fires stolen from Muspelheim, and found powerful steeds to pull the chariot,
And he put Sol and Mani into the sky.
Thus, every day Sol rides by in her chariot to bring day to the realms;
And Mani guides the path of the moon, bringing about night;
A perfect balance!
The two siblings speed through the sky as quick as they can;
And not out of a sense of duty;
No, the two of them are pursued by a pair of wolves;
Sköll, the Treacherous, hunts the sun;
Hati, He Who Hates, hunts the moon;
Two vicious beasts that race through the heavens on an everlasting hunt;
The wolves are siblings;
Sons of Fenrir, some say;
And prophecies say that one day the wolves will catch up to their prey and usher in the end of the world.
The denizens of the realms can only hope that day won't come soon.
Thus the tale ends;
Care to [[listen]] to another?</center><center><h1>Tales from Hel</h1>
A tale from the realm of the dead, Hel, ruled by the queen of the dead, Hel, and a day from her life in [[Niflheim|Hel1]]...</center><center><h1>Godly Wager (Redux)</h1>
A tale of an ill-advised bet within [[Asgard|Asgard1]], when a builder offers his services to the Aesir...<center><center><h1>Brisingamen</h1>
A tale of investigation, as Freyja's beautiful necklace has gone missing -- and the watchman [[Heimdall|Freyja1]] has volunteered to help...</center><center><h1>A Mess on Midgard</h1>
A tale from the realm of [[Midgard|Midgard1]], as a farmer loses a bet against a cunning jötunn...</center>First, there was nothing.
Later they would name the yawning void that was existence "Ginnungagap", but back then, of course, no one existed to speak such a name, and language, like everything else, had not even been fathomed.
But Ginnungagap was not alone -- to the north, the bitter, bleak cold of the realm of Niflheim; and to the south, the blistering, boiling heat of the realm of Muspelheim.
And in the center of Ginnungagap, the wild flames from the south collided with the solid realm of ice from the north.
In the middle of this collision, from the drops of ice that fell, the first jötunn emerged: Ymir.
Ymir waded through the early cosmos, and when he slept, jötnar emerged from his pores.
Ymir wandered through the realm, avoiding the icy winds of Niflheim, and the burning magma of Muspelheim, and remained in the void of Ginnungagap as it started to take shape.
And then Ymir came across another living being, one unrelated to him: the primordial cow, Audumbla, who had been born from the ice as well.
So Audumbla nourished Ymir with her milk, and in turn nourished herself by licking at the ice.
Eventually, Audumbla licked free a man from the ice.
His name was [[Buri|Ymir2]]."Midgardian. Name?"
"Arne Gormsson!"
"How did you die?"
"I died //gloriously//! In battle!"
Garmr growled, and the specter flinched back. Hel sighed, and made a show of glancing around the barren landscape.
"I'm not seeing any valkyries, so... clearly not. Be honest."
The specter sighed. "I tried to repair my neighbor's roof after a night of drinking," he admitted.
...
"Jötunn. Name?"
"Litr."
"How did you die?"
The specter sighed. "Thor."
...
"...Midgardian... I think? Name?"
"Fafnir."
"How did you die?"
The specter sighed. "Stabbed near the heart. Bled out."
"Not eligible for Valhalla?"
"The valkyries said they didn't like my personality, and also that they couldn't physically lift my body all the way there."
"That's rough."
...
"Midgardian. Name?"
"Bodil Eriksdottir."
...
"Midgardian. Name?"
"Harald the mighty!"
...
"Jötnar. Name?"
"Baugi."
...
"How did you die?"
The specter sighed. "So there was a fire..."
...
The specter sighed. "So there was a bear..."
...
The specter sighed. "So Odin showed up..."
...
[[Hel sighed.|Hel2]]Buri emerged from the ice, bold and powerful, and he lived in the early cosmos as well. And eventually he had a son, Borr, and Borr maried a jötunn by the name of Bestla, and they had three sons: Odin, Vili and Vé.
And Odin and his brothers fashioned weapons from the ice, and the next time Ymir roamed by them, they set upon him and killed him.
Ymir's blood flowed forth, drowning the cosmos, and Odin and his brothers turned the jötunn's blood into water, and formed the oceans.
And from Ymir's flesh they fashioned the earth.
And from his teeth and bones they fashioned stones and rock.
And from his head they fashioned the sky.
And so the three sons of Borr created the world and the realms. And from the lowest depths of Ymir's flesh, the dwarves sprouted; and from Ymir's brains, high up in the sky, the elves sprouted; and from the other descendants of Ymir, the jötnar came to be.
And in the center of it all, Odin and his brothers took Ymir's eyelashes and fashioned a fortification, and within the fortification was the realm of [[Midgard|Ymir3]].They came across the jötunn in the newly formed realm of Midgard.
Hoenir stuttered to a stop when he spotted them, but Odin merely pulled free his sword and strode forward. "Jötunn," he called, demanding, "this realm is not yours."
The jötunn didn't acknowledge him for a time. They were stood in front of a small copse of trees, hand on their chin. The trees were scarce, empty wood with only the youngest of leaves starting to grow on them.
The jötunn was more interesting. Their skin was ice, like the jötnar sometimes had, and even slouching they were taller than Odin. Their fingers were clawed, their hair pale, and when they finally turned towards Odin, their eyes were burning with intelligence.
Odin resisted the urge to step back.
"And who are you," the jötunn said, "to make statements such as that?"
"I am Odin, king of the realms," Odin said, and then the jötunn laughed. The sound was shrill and sharp, like ice scraping against ice, and it instantly irritated Odin. "And you are trespassing."
"My apologies, then, Odin!" the jötunn said. They laughed again. "I will leave soon, then. I was just taking a look at... this. It caught my attention!"
Odin and Hoenir exchanged a glance. Odin shrugged, and approached, although he kept his sword at hand. Hoenir followed behind.
There was a being in the tree -- no, Odin saw, two of them, melded with the bark.
"What are they?" Hoenir whispered.
"I've no idea!" the jötunn responded cheerily. "I just happened across it. What a bizarre sight."
"Happened across it, hm?" Odin said. "You're not supposed to be in Midgard at all, jötunn."
The jötunn laughed. "True enough!" they said. "Although I do have a name, Odin, king of the realms. They call me [[Lodurr|Ymir4]].""Lodurr," Odin said. "An interesting name, but I don't recall asking."
Lodurr snickered, their icy lips turning up into a smirk. "An introduction, not asked for," they said. "I am merely returning the favor!"
Odin considered them.
"Perhaps we should focus on the beings in the trees?" Hoenir said. "And, ah, to finish the unprompted introductions, I am Hoenir."
Lodurr's eyes glinted with humor as they regarded Hoenir. "Hoenir," they repeated. "How humble you are! No title, like your friend here?"
But Odin ignored the two of them as Lodurr baited Hoenir into some inane conversation. Instead, he focused on the two things growing out of the tree. He let his fingers drift over the bark, and felt.
"Primordial beings," he said quietly. "Like the jötnar once were. They're adapting to life. Slowly."
//That// drew Hoenir from his conversation, and Lodurr too. "Interesting," the jötunn said.
"We can aid them," Odin said. "Help them flourish in the way the jötnar... didn't, and the way we had to fight for. What do you think, Hoenir?"
Hoenir hesitated. "I think... that's a grand idea."
Odin smiled and focused on the trees. Hoenir stepped up next to him -- and then, a moment later, Lodurr on his other side.
"Trying to exclude me?" Lodurr asked.
"I'm not sure why you're still here," Odin said mildly. "Once I've finished with this I'll skewer you."
Lodurr laughed. "There's no need for that!" they said. "Here, I'll even help."
Odin frowned, and met Lodurr's gaze. Lodurr's frosty eyes twinkled with mirth, but...
Odin considered himself a good judge of character. Of course he was -- he was forging a court to tower over all of the realms, and he knew he'd need trustworthy allies by his side. And the jötnar, hostile as they were, didn't trend towards dishonesty.
The jötnar didn't trend towards much but violence when Odin appeared, actually. Lodurr was unique.
"If you sabotage this your head will be split from your body in an instant," Odin promised.
Lodurr threw back their head and laughed the loudest Odin had heard since meeting them. "I'll keep that in mind," they agreed.
The trio of them focused on the [[primordials|Ymir5]].Hel had set up a system (because it wasn't like she had anything better to do) -- an administrative arrangement to handle the swath of the inglorious dead filtering into her realm. She considered it a clever thing, staffed by the dead who were all too eager to volunteer for a job, for anything to drag themselves out of the monotony that was being dead.
So she'd taken some volunteers to scribe down her rule system, which had started quite simply and had immediately expanded into a monster of a thing that even she didn't remember all of the rules of.
But on the positive side, complaints had gone down and she'd reduced her own personal workload to dozens an hour, compared to the previous demand that she make sweeping edicts that affected the millions of souls that were dead, as well as the thousands of new deaths coming in constantly.
The job had been pretty intimidating when she'd been younger.
Now it was just dull. Maybe she'd overhaul the system again. That would be a neat way to spend a few months, maybe.
For now, though, her line was empty. She had a few hours to make the rounds.
She stood, straightening her back as well as she could. Garmr stood as well, peering up at her, and the two of them [[set off|Hel3]].The cosmos was still young, and ripe for alteration.
Odin reached into the fabric of the realms, the threads that held reality together, and he started to twist those threads to his own end. His work was steady, and he felt the power as he drew it into his being.
Aside him, the other two did the same -- Hoenir slow and cautious, Lodurr quick and clever.
And Odin pushed the power into the primordials, and weaved.
All living beings had something at the crux of them, a core, a spirit, something that allowed them to live and think. Odin had it, his fellows had it, the dwarves and the elves and Audumbla and even Ymir and the jötnar had it. The essence of a person.
Odin gave this to the primordials -- the fledgling of a soul, and before his eyes it took root and started to blossom.
Hoenir granted them his gift next, and in an instant the primordials within the tree began to //move.// Tethered to the tree as they were, their movements were restricted, but their eyes -- their beady eyes made of bark -- took in Odin and his allies, as the primordials //sensed// for the first time.
And then Lodurr granted them their gift, and the primordials both gasped as their bodies were wrenched out of the trees.
Odin feared treachery for just a moment, but instantly the primordials began to shift. Bark twisted the both of them, melding them into a familiar shape -- two arms, two legs, a torso and a head -- and then the bark shuddered and shifted, and it transformed. Their skin of bark turned to flesh; the scant leaves atop their head turned to hair; and their eyes bulged open, bright and seeing for the first time.
The primordials both began to breathe.
Lodurr met Odin's eyes and smirked. They jerked their head towards one of the primordials.
"I even gave them an extra gift," Lodurr said. "A handsome visage, to aid their fledgling species."
Odin took a moment to realize that the newly born man looked rather similar to himself.
Despite himself, [[Odin laughed|YmirFinal]].<center>And so the first two humans were born.
Their names were Ask and Embla,
And from them Midgard flourished.
The world and the realms began to settle,
Odin formally founded the Aesir,
But before all of that, as Odin allowed the jötunn called Lodurr depart,
Lodurr told to him, "No need to worry, king of the realms!
This Midgard is yours, of course, and I deeply regret trespassing;
You'll not see me again!"
Only later did Odin realize it would be the first lie he'd ever been told.
Thus the tale ends;
Care to [[listen]] to another?</center>Hel made the rounds, peering into some of the more problematic zones of the realm.
A steady flow of plants had appeared in the realm of the dead, as they always did. Plants were numerous, and, as it turned out, they had living souls, meaning they all appeared in Hel (location) when they died, the same as a human or a jötunn.
Unfortunately, plants also tended to mix with death exactly as well as Thor did with her grandfather's clan.
That is to say: not well at all. Most of them had to be banished into a zone the specters had dubbed "The Screaming Pit."
It was exactly as unpleasant as usual. Yikes. Hel really wanted to figure out a better solution for that problem, but her hands were tied. She moved on.
Next, she moved on to Eljudnir. Her //hall//. It had been constructed with Niflheim's most abundant resource -- stone -- along with a few of the more sensible trees. (Being used as lumber was better than The Pit, who could have guessed?)
She didn't care that much for having a hall, even if her few nonpermanent visitors had implied she should have one, but hundreds of the specters had jumped at the chance to do something, anything. So they'd built a hall, and now it was staffed with specters, all serving different roles. There were "servants", both loyal and treasonous, and "guests", pretending to be foreign nobles or such, and every night (or what passed for night, here) a pack of burglars tried to break in and steal a collection of rocks that had been dubbed as treasure.
When Hel passed through Eljudnir, the specters all bowed to her. Peasants and criminals and nobles, humans and jötnar and dwarves and elves, all kinds treating her as a queen.
All of them willing to play a role. Anything to get out of the perpetual ennui that was part of being dead.
Hel didn't like visiting Eljudnir.
Instead she moved on to [[Ivar's court|Hel4]].The plan to take a leave from Asgard was an instant success with Skade.
The next step, however, immediately brought about a disagreement: Skade didn't care a whit about Vanaheim.
"I don't want to go to Vanaheim," Skade said plainly.
Njord smiled brightly at her. "Many say that, before they actually see the realm," he said, a note of pride in his voice. "It's beauty is unmatched."
Skade stared at him. Njord hesitated, and then continued.
"I have a home by the ocean, and the seas lull you to sleep like no other," he said. "I've actually been wanting to visit home anyway, so I thought this could be... pleasant? If you'd like?"
"I don't care about Vanaheim," Skade said. Njord's smile wilted. "But I //do// want to leave Asgard. I have a home in the mountains of Jötunnheimr."
She waited a moment.
"You can come along, if you'd like," she added.
Njord didn't find the idea all that appealing, and honestly heights kind of scared him. Ever since the idea had been planted in his head, a desire to return home had swelled within him. Nostalgia for his birthplace had nearly knocked him flat, the more he thought of it.
But he was married now, and even if it had been a long time since his last marriage, he knew he had to think of Skade's wants, to.
"What of a [[compromise|Njord2]]?" he offered.Ivar had been something of a leader in his life, some sort of king or lord or jarl or whatever they called themselves up on Midgard. It meant that he'd had something of an ego when he'd arrived, the way nobles always did. Unlike most other nobles, however, Ivar had turned out to be tolerable after he'd been humbled.
He'd set up something resembling his court back in life, which maybe didn't mesh with the idea of a humble man, but all the specters there were playing along intentionally, so Hel figured it was fine.
Ivar cheered when she appeared. "The Queen of Hel deigns to appear before us!" he crowed.
Hel smiled. "Hello there, specter," she said. "I was wondering how your attempt to recreate a tax system has been going...?"
Ivar grinned and stood. His prosthetics held, she noted -- the ones he'd had in life hadn't made it down to Niflheim, and he'd had to make new ones with some agreeable wood before he could walk again. His first few attempts had been rough, she knew, so she was glad he'd seemed to have gotten it right this time around.
Hel liked Ivar. Whenever she had trouble keeping her balance because of her weaker side, the specters... didn't mock her, because most of them were scared that she should banish them to something like the Pit. Not that she would, but it kept them at bay, because it was //really obvious// that if she weren't the queen of the realm she'd be met with derision.
The Midgardians and the jötnar and the elves, all of them so haughty towards anyone that couldn't fight. At least the dwarves weren't like that, and the few Aesir that had come by had been surprisingly polite. (Odin himself had been kind to her, on one of his unsanctioned, rulebreaking visits to her realm. He had even been genuine, she thought, as compared to the other Aesir, who had mostly been hiding their scorn.
Not that it improved her opinion of him all that much.)
Ivar, though. Ivar knew what it was like, and he'd forged a life to be proud of, from a human point of view.
They'd buried him well, she knew.
It was... impressive? She didn't know how to sort him, mentally, because most of her life was spent alone with her thoughts and she still had trouble with introspection. But he was clever, and he didn't look at her with disgust or fear, and so she liked to visit occasionally. Even if that meant listening to whatever inane Midgardian thing he was trying to replicate recently.
Ivar was something of a... [[friend?|Hel5]] Hel didn't know why she was so wary of words like "friend."
Well, okay, she had an idea. Her only companionship for the majority of her life had been the specters. Most living things reacted to death badly, and so the specters tended to be volatile. They also tended to be afraid of her, a mix which meant most of them went out of their way to avoid her.
It didn't help that a lot of the dead had a penchant for going... well, mad after long enough.
The only being she easily admitted was a friend was Garmr.
Ah, Garmr. The specters called him her hound. A wolf that stood up to her shoulders, with bristling black fur and burning red eyes. His teeth were more than sharp enough to keep unruly specters in line.
The specters were terrified of him.
Hel patted Garmr on the head. Garmr woofed.
[[Good friend|Hel6]].Aside from Garmr and the specters, she occasionally entertained visits from the Aesir.
Odin was the most common. He was always polite and upfront, seeking her out to directly inform her that he was breaking the most sacred rule of existence.
He looked her in the eye and admitted when he was about to disrespect one of the few rules of the realm he'd banished her into.
It was infuriating. She despised him.
But she couldn't bar him from her realm. Not without barring the others that ventured down.
Her father visited her, too. Not as often as Odin, because he had some semblance of //rules//, but a few times. Sometimes he came by with Odin, and didn't say much with meaning; other times he came by alone, and stayed for far less time but spoke his honest mind.
He told her stories, when he could. Of himself, and the Thunder Lord, and the All-Father, and the Vanir. Of his travels through Jötunnheimr, and his life in Asgard.
He told her stories of her mother and her brothers.
One day, he'd come by, shaking with rage, and he'd told her about what they'd done to Fenrir.
She hadn't realized she could [[hate Odin|Hel7]] even more.Sometimes she looked at Garmr and wondered if he was anything similar to what Fenrir was like.
Sometimes specters came by with tales of serpents and dragons, and she wondered if Jörmungandr had ended them.
Her father visited when he could, and specters he'd killed shook with anger whenever he did.
Her mother hadn't appeared in her realm, so Hel knew she was still alive up there. Somewhere. She wondered if her mother ever thought of her.
She didn't... //want// any of her family to die. But during times where she was overwhelmed with the workload, or lonely enough that even Garmr couldn't help...
Well, as awful as it was, she sometimes wished she'd gotten the chance to know most of her family.
But there was only one way for that to happen, as it was, and she always felt awful after even thinking of it.
Goodness. This was why she didn't take many breaks. She always got lost in a spiral of melancholy, and then assumed that she could avoid it next time. She'd have to make the system less efficient again, to prevent this sort of thing.
Better to get lost in the work for another few years.
Her line was forming back up, anyway.
Hel went [[back to work|listen]].The plan was simple.
The two of them would spend nine nights in Thrymheim, the home that Skade had inherited from her late father, and afterwards another nine nights in Noatun, his own place of birth near the sea.
And after those eighteen nights, they'd... see where to go from there.
So first they went to Thrymheim, and Njord...
...Well. He wanted to be optimistic and open-minded for the sake of Skade, but he had to admit that he wasn't looking forward to his time here. Thrymheim was dark and dreadful and dreary, a solid grey fortress high up in the mountains. The cold bit into his bones on the journey there, and the sunlight disappeared quickly.
And everyoned tried their best to avoid mentioning it since Skade was of the Aesir now, but Njord was a little uncomfortable residing in the keep that had once belonged to a man he'd helped kill.
But Skade didn't share any of his trepidations. Her eyes were alight with an unusual passion, and a small smile graced her lips, a rare sight.
They reached Thrymheim, and for nine nights, they [[stayed|Njord3]].On the first day, Skade invited him out on a hunt in the forest.
He wanted to be open-minded, but he had his limits. The freezing forests of Jötunnheimr, which seemed to grow dark just barely after the sun rose, and which were filled with some of the savage predators that resided in the realm...
Skade may have been excited to hunt, but Njord was not, so he politely declined the offer.
Skade had shrugged and set off without another word.
So Njord had spent the day in Thrymheim, and it had been... okay. The ghost of his father-in-law hadn't attacked him, which wasn't something he'd expected to happen, but it //was// something he'd been prepared for. Just in case.
Skade came back around nightfall.
The two of them went to sleep. (In separate beds, of course.)
Settled into his bed, Njord shut his eyes and considered a plan of action for the next day.
That's when the wolves began to howl.
They were outside the keep, of course, but their howls echoed throughout the mountains and pierced into Njord's skull. At first, he tried to ignore them; he put a pillow over his head; and, when Skade failed to rouse, fast asleep despite the clamor, he rose and moved to a different room.
Not that it helped. Njord didn't sleep a wink that night.
The next day and night, things went much the same. With an ever shrinking amount of sleep, Njord found it hard to consider his plan. Perhaps he should join Skade on one of her hunts -- but she hadn't explicitly invited him aside from that first day. After, she just acknowledged him and then left. Would it have been rude to try inviting himself along again?
By the dawn of the tenth day, Njord was glad to be leaving [[Thrymheim|Njord4]].The soft sand underneath his feet, the calming sound of the ocean waves... Njord was back in his home, Noatun, and his mood from the past week immediately improved.
"As I said!" Njord said, smiling brightly. "The sea, so beautiful!"
"I don't care for the sea," Skade said.
Njord didn't let his smile dim. "That's alright!" he said. "There's still plenty to love!"
So Njord showed Skade the wonders of his home in Vanaheim. Quite predictably from her reaction to the sea, the beach held little appeal to Skade, who had grown up in the freezing montains of Jötunnheimr.
Njord had the feeling that some of the things that impressed the Aesir would fail to take hold in Skade. So he spent their nine days in Noatun offering Skade some of Vanaheim's best food, teaching her some of the Vanir's favorite games.
And the longer he tried, the less bright his smiles were, because every single thing he tried was rebuffed.
"I'm not interested" or "I don't care" were common responses Njord received, and he didn't want to just give up, but... he felt like just giving up.
By the end of their stay, Njord knew the trip had been a failure. Skade had been waking earlier than he had, and had taken to just taking her leave before even speaking to him.
They started their trip back to Asgard in [[silence|Njord5]].The forest was pleasant as always. Sigyn drifted through the forest quietly, following the obvious path her husband had blundered through. In one hand she carried a basket full of apples; in the other she carried an axe.
With said axe, she was about to strike a snake that was heading towards her.
Now, there were two options here.
Option one was that it was just an average snake. This meant that she could probably scare it off, and if she couldn't, cutting it in half would prevent her from getting bit.
Option two was that it was her husband. Now, if that was the case and she buried an axe into his little serpent skull, well, all that would happen is that he'd whine about it. Because they'd done that before. Eight times.
Someitmes, being with her husband was a challenge to see who would blink first. Sigyn liked to be the one forcing him to back down.
It seemed today was an easy day, because the snake morphed and grew into the form of Loki. "Peace!" he said, laughing. "No need for bloodshed on this day!"
"Perhaps you should stop appearing to me as dangerous animals?" Sigyn offered.
"But where's the fun in that?" Loki said.
He sounded so genuine. Sigyn couldn't help but smile.
"So what have you been up to?" Loki asked.
He'd been the one to ask her out here today, but that wasn't how things went. If she asked him to get to the point, he'd just dance around the point for even longer.
That was fine. She knew how to handle him by now.
"I've been collecting apples," she said. "Perhaps something new for Fenrir?"
Loki's expression went so unfathomably soft, for just the slightest instant.
"Some for Sleipnir too, of course," she added.
"Of course," he said, and in a moment that softness was replaced by his usual humor. "Enough about you. Let's talk about something more important: me."
Sigyn rolled here eyes. "Oh? What mischief have you gotten up to today?"
"Mischief?" Loki gasped. "Such a harsh assumption! For your information, I was finding a //gift// for my //darling// wife!"
He pulled out an axe. The axe she was carrying was a solid thing, but this was a work of art in comparison. The hilt was made out of a dark wood, with a handful of runes delicately carved into it, and the head itself was clear, almost shining.
Sigyn's eyes were wide. "Is this //enchanted//?"
"Why, yes, it is," Loki said, intensely smug.
"Oh, my," she said. "Be honest. Did you steal this?"
"Not from anyone you know!" he said. Sigyn laughed -- that was rather thoughtful, for him. "Only the head, though. I crafted the hilt myself."
She slipped the axe she was holding onto her belt and took hold of Loki's. "This is wonderful," she said, feeling out its weight. "Thank you. What brought this on?"
"If Thor asks, I've been gone for a year," Loki responded instantly. She raised an eyebrow. "Joking! Sometimes I just like to do nice things for people."
He wasn't often anything close to genuine in his emotions. Sigyn offered him a slanted smile. "Well, thank you," she said. "...It almost makes me feel bad that your bed is in the middle of a lake right now."
Loki snickered. "That's funny... but you didn't actually do that, right?"
Her smile turned mischevious.
"...[[Right|listen]]?""Ho there, stranger," the one they called Mimir said.
Odin looked at the man, and stilled.
A massive body of water stood before Odin, the size of a city. It was the clearest water Odin had ever seen, so clear it almost seemed to be absent, so clear it seemed like it might be sharp. Odin had drifted towards it instantly, before Mimir's words brought him to a stop.
Mimir's well, Odin had learned it called, at the bottom of the roots of Yggdrasil. Deep within the depths of the realms, and surrounded by the iciest pits of Jötunnheimr, lands too cold for even the jötnar to survive. The well resembled a cavern, enclosed by stone that Odin believed to be artificial.
And Mimir. Odin hadn't heard much about the man himself, but as Odin took in his appearance, he recognized that Mimir was familiar.
"King of the realms," Mimir said, cracking a soft smile. "It's been a while. Although you're just king of the Aesir now, aren't you?"
"You're Bestla's brother," Odin realized.
"Aye," Mimir said. He chuckled. "I remember when you were just a boy. I taught you your earliest magic."
"You did," Odin admitted. He felt blindsided. It wasn't something he felt often. "You changed your name. We thought you died."
"As you can see, I am not," Mimir said. "Now I guard a well of knowledge."
"It's why I came," Odin said.
"In search of knowledge?" Mimir asked. Odin nodded. "Well, allow me to give you a single piece of wisdom: nothing in life is free."
He pulled a [[knife|Mimir2]].Odin tensed. He hadn't though much of his uncle, not since his disappearance, but he hadn't anticipated hostility. His hand fell to the sword at his waist, already charting out the best way to end this fight.
But Mimir merely tossed the knife down at Odin's feet.
"Nothing is free," Mimir said, turning and walking away, "including my knowledge. Our shared blood got you one lesson, but you'll have to pay for the next."
Odin went still. He didn't relax yet. "That can be arranged," he said slowly. "Is it gold you want? Or I could grant you a title within Asgard. You'd deserve it."
Mimir laughed and wagged a finger. "Not that type of payment for me, I'm afraid," he said. "It's less about me gaining, you see, and more about you sacrificing."
Odin glanced down at the knife.
"I need to see if you really have what it takes to drink from my well," Mimir continued. "And I like to tailor the sacrifice to the person. You strike me as... an eye fellow."
"An eye," Odin repeated blankly.
"Indeed," Mimir said. "[[Carve out an eye|Mimir3]] and offer it to the well. Only then may you drink.""You can't be serious," Odin said.
"Oh, I am," Mimir said. "And I'm not in the mood to argue. Either pay your toll, or stop bothering me, nephew."
Odin had half a mind to turn and leave right then and there, but his journey down to the well hadn't been a swift one. Or an easy one.
And the tantalizing bait of the knowledge within, just a few steps out of his grasp.
Odin hesitated.
He'd only heard a few scarce whispers of the well, but he'd done his research and he trusted its worth. The appearance of his uncle only solidified the weight of the location, in his mind.
"One eye," Odin said, "and I drink from the well?"
"One eye," Mimir confirmed, "and the width of my knowledge is available to you. Once."
When they'd first met, Frigg had complimented his eyes.
When they'd first met, Frigg had also prophesied that he'd have a lifetime of strife ahead of him. And he'd sought out other sources, and heard the same declarations.
He'd heard whispers of the end of the world.
Odin picked up the knife provided. He brought it up to his eye, took a deep breath, and steadily plunged the blade into his eye socket.
Odin hissed as the steel scraped against his skull. Carefully and methodically, he carved into his own face, and when he'd finished that he wrenched his own eye out of his socket.
He caught it. His own icy blue eye stared up at him.
Breathing heavily, Odin dropped the bloody knife and tossed his eye into the well.
Mimir clapped. "Well done!" he said, grinning like a madman. "You've earned a good drink, nephew!"
Odin felt like there should have been something else. Some magical moment to prove he'd passed an arcane test.
Instead, he was just in pain, and unsteady on his feet.
Odin knelt and [[drank.|MimirFinal]]<center>And so Odin was filled with a sliver of Mimir's knowledge, and he returned to Asgard,
with no hard feelings!
He invited his uncle home, and eventually Mimir accepted and joined the Aesir proper;
Although still he gave none of them special treatment,
For Heimdall had to sacrifice an ear when he drank from the well;
Thus the tale ends;
Care to [[listen]] to another?</center>It happened on the road.
Njord wasn't sure how it started. He'd been trying to start up a conversation, something lighthearted, maybe, and Skade had been characteristically quiet. He'd made some comment about the trip, maybe, and that had gotten Skade to respond, but not positively, and then things had escalated and suddenly they were full swing into an argument.
"Your precious home in Vanaheim was a garbage heap," Skade snapped.
"That's my //ancestral home// you're talking about!" Njord responded.
Skade scoffed. "And?" Her voice turned mocking. "Your ocean view might be pretty and all, but that's all it is. It's just water and sand."
"It's- it's a beach!" Njord said. "The finest beach in all the realms!"
Skade waved her hand dismissively. "It's awful," she said. "Nothing to do. And the gulls woke me every morning, at dawn--"
"You didn't say anything about that," Njord said.
"--and I'm quite sure I saw the Liesmith at one point during our stay?"
"Well, he's allowed to visit, too. He likes to fish."
Skade scoffed, again. "I am genuinely insulted that you forced me to spend any time there."
Njord felt his irritation boil over. "Compared to that depressing hovel of yours?"
Skade went still. "Excuse me?"
"Thrymheim seems as if it were designed to erode the soul. And the birds might //annoy// you, but they're nothing compared to the //wolves// that howled every night!"
Njord thought of the wolf howls, and thought of Odin's twin wolves. He shuddered.
"Frankly I was doing you a favor, bringing you to Noatan."
"You were doing no such thing," Skade hissed. "How dare you insult my home."
"You insulted mine first!" Njord knew it was a poor argument to make, but he was going to make it anyway.
Skade scowled at him. "[[You-|Njord6]]"Freyr expelled a breath.
Freyja sat to his side, her hands clasped, and their nine sisters were all arranged about the room. All of them watched the door intently, poised to erupt into the plan at any moment.
The door opened. Njord stepped inside and then stopped short at the sight of his children.
"Father," Freyja started, "there's something serious we need to discuss with you."
Njord took a single second to consider this, and then he said, "Skade and I are getting a divorce."
Freyr had the tact not to show his relief, but it was a close thing.
"...Oh," Freyja said. She exchanged a glance with Radveig. "Well that... changes this discussion significantly."
Njord came into the room and settled into a chair. He was glum about the relationship failing, but not all that surprised. The twins and their sisters all gathered around, effortlessly shifting the "convince Dad his new marriage isn't working" plan into "console Dad about his new marriage not working."
And Freyr still had the tact not to say it, but he was pretty vindicated that he was right and Odin's feet-marriage thing was a [[bad idea|NjordFinal]].<center>And so Njord and Skade went their separate ways;
Njord remained unmarried for the rest of his life,
But eventually came around to the idea that maybe that wasn't such a tragedy;
He'd never replace his first love, not that he'd ever wanted to,
But even without a wife, he still had so many children to care for;
And Skade, for her part, moved back to Thrymheim permanently;
Still of the Aesir, but she seemed content as she was;
Thus the tale ends;
Care to [[listen]] to another?</center>The giant introduced himself as Skrymir.
He appeared on the horizon, tall as a mountain, but with every step he took he shrunk. When he arrived at the farmstead, he was far smaller -- though still a solid three meters tall.
Politely, he knocked on the door.
A moment later, Gunnar threw it open. "I told you," he snapped, and then he froze, going pale.
"Hello there," the giant said. "I am Skrymir. I've heard that you like a good gamble?"
"I- uh," Gunnar stuttered.
"A good dice game, as it were?" Skrymir said.
"Uh," Gunnar said, again.
"An answer, please," Skrymir asked.
"I- yes," Gunnar said. "I do. I do like. A gamble."
Skrymir smiled at him. "I've got some dice," he said. "Let's [[play|Midgard2]]."Against his better judgment, Gunnar played against the giant.
And it was surprisingly fun. Even if he was a giant, and he had to hunch over to fit within the house, Skrymir was a jolly guest. He laughed, and told stories of his own, and his friendly expression didn't change at all when Gunnar lost the final bet.
He was so caught up by the cheer the giant was sharing that he didn't realize he'd lost at first.
And then Gunnar looked down at his roll and went still.
"Unlucky!" Skrymir said. "Well, you can't win them all! I'll be taking my prize, then."
Gunnar's spine went cold. "We didn't set a price beforehand," he said.
"No," Skrymir said.
"...I don't have much in the way of silver," Gunnar said.
"I know," Skrymir said.
The two of them stared at each other for a long moment.
"Well?" Skrymir prompted.
"You have earned yourself a prize," Gunnar said carefully.
"I heard you have a son," Skrymir said mildly. Gunnar's eyes widened. "Where is he?"
"He... he's out right now."
Skrymir smiled. "Go fetch him, then," he said. "I'll wait."
Gunnar stood on shaky legs. Skrymir merely watched him with amusement.
Gunnar fled.
Luckily for him, a [[trio of gods|Midgard3]] happened to be passing by."Please, oh, please!" Gunnar begged the three gods. He clasped his hands together and fell to his knees. "Please save my son!"
The three gods regarded him.
The center god was unmistakable. Clad in all black, wearing a dark cloak, with a wide-brimmed hat casting shade over his face, Gunnar could still see the god's impassive face, the sole eye watching him judgmentally. Odin, the All-Father.
The god to his left was known, too. Clad in pretty furs, his blonde hair spilled down to the center of his back, and was braided prettily. Icy eyes regarded Gunnar with mirth, and his scarred lips were pulled into a smile. Loki, the Lie-Smith.
The third god was dressed colorfully, in bright reds as compared to Odin's dark wardrobe. He sported a goatee, and he watched Gunnar with some concern, and Gunnar was desperately trying to hide the fact that he didn't recognize who the third god was.
"It sounds like an entertaining distraction, at the very least," Loki said.
"I wouldn't mind helping," the third god said.
Odin glanced towards the two of them, and then focused his intense gaze back on Gunnar. "Alright, human," he said, "we will help your family."
"Oh, thank you--" Gunnar started.
"Shh," Odin interrupted. "Don't speak anymore, you've caused enough trouble as it is. Take us to your [[son|Midgard4]]. We'll do the rest."Freyja's necklace Brisingamen was a beautiful piece of jewelry, renowned throughout the realms. It was made of a tasteful gold, and adorned with perfectly cut diamonds.
It was a long-standing heirloom, passed down through their family.
It was also missing.
Freyja had a very short list of suspects, but she was in Asgard. The birthplace of justice, or whatever they liked to call it. If it was up to her, she would already be seeking out revenge on the thief -- //whoever they could possibly be// -- but as it was, she had to go through an, ugh, //investigation.//
So she went to Asgard's greatest investigator, the watcher Heimdall.
"I'm not really supposed to leave my post," Heimdall had said. Freyja fluttered her eyelashes and leaned in close, and Heimdall had gone red. "...Although I suppose I could... take a quick break..."
So the two of them began an [[investigation|Freyja2]].The first step of investigation, Heimdall claimed, was interrogation. So the two of them set up an interrogation room in Heimdall's Himinbjörg, a cramped, dimly lit room with only a hard stone table and three chairs -- one isolated.
Freyr sat in that isolated chair, alone.
"The plan," Heimdall had explained, "is to leave him be for a bit. Make him sweat, you know?"
When the two of them entered the room, Freyr didn't look like he was sweating. He just looked kind of confused, but Freyja had asked Heimdall for help, so she wasn't going to start critizing him so soon.
Heimdall and Freyja took a seat. Freyr stared at them.
"...So," Freyr said.
Heimdall slammed his hand into the table. Freyr jumped. "Listen up," Heimdall said. "You're gonna answer us carefully, and if you lie, I'll know. Did you steal Brisingamen?"
Freyr blinked. "No?" he said, baffled. "What? Brisingamen was stolen?"
Heimdall narrowed his eyes and leaned forward.
"Unfortunately, it was," Feryja said. "We're looking into the matter of who stole it now."
"I think I have an idea who stole it," Freyr said.
"We can't just make assumptions," Heimdall said, even though everyone in the room had a strong suspicion as to who the thief was. "We have to look into every suspect."
"Am I a suspect?" Freyr asked, faintly offended.
"Well," Heimdall said.
"Not really," Freyja said. "It's a family heirloom."
"If I wanted it I would have just asked," Freyr said. "...Not that I do. It's kind of tacky."
"Excuse you?" Freyja said. She sniffed. "It's a //relic// from our family, but I guess you still have no taste."
"Dad nearly gave it to Kreppvör just so he didn't have to look at it that often," Freyr said, smirking. "It shines so bright it hurts his eyes."
"It does //not//!"
"I think you're [[free to go|Freyja3]]," Heimdall interrupted.Thor looked hopelessly lost as he sat in the interrogation room, but he perked right up when Freyja and Heimdall entered.
("You think Thor is a suspect?" Freyja asked, doubtful.
"...We have to investigate every avenue," Heimdall responded.)
"My friends!" Thor boomed. "What is the cause for our meeting?"
"A crime has been committed," Heimdall said ominously.
Thor's eyes went wide. Instantly, his gaze darted around and he started to sweat. Heimdall planted his hands on the table and leaned in close.
"Would you happen to know anything, Thor?" Heimdall asked.
Thor screwed his eyes shut. "I must confess!" he said.
Heimdall shot Freyja a smirk, although he seemed faintly surprised as well.
"Loki assured me that Vidarr would never notice his mead was missing," Thor cried. He looked to be on the berge of tears.
"What?" Freyja said.
"Huh?" Heimdall said.
"I knew it was wrong," Thor continued, "but Vidarr's mead is always so good, and I... I had a moment of weakness..."
"Thor, we're not here for Vidarr's mead," Heimdall said. He furrowed his brow. "But also don't steal? Stealing is wrong, Thor."
"Don't steal from //Vidarr//," Freyja suggested. "He seems like he'd break your legs if he caught you stealing from him."
"That is also true," Heimdall conceded.
"Oh," Thor said. He wiped the sweat off of his brow and grinned bashfully. "Ah, well! Let's just move past that! In that case, why have we met?"
"Brisingamen was stolen," Freyja said. Thor stared blankly. "My prized necklace."
Thor gasped and jumped to his feet. "A shameful theft!" he declared. "I will investigate, don't worry!"
"Thor, no," Heimdall said, and by the time he'd finished Thor had leapt over the table and smashed through the (unlocked!) interrogation room door, knocking it down entirely. Thor sprinted off.
"I think he's [[innocent|Freyja4]]," Freyja said."Loki did it," Tyr said.
"//Fuck//," Heimdall said, softly but with feeling, and then, immediately, "Are you sure? What proof do you have?"
"He danced outside my home and shouted 'look what I stole from Freyja!' while brandishing Brisingamen," Tyr said. "I've been trying to find you ever since."
"Well, thank you for your assistance," Freyja said, smiling, perfectly polite. "You can take your leave now."
Tyr rose. His smile was equally as uncomfortable as hers was fake. He hesitated, though, glancing at Heimdall, who had his head in his hands.
"Is it really that surprising?" Tyr asked.
"No," Heimdall murmured. "We all knew it, but I had hoped it wasn't him."
"Commendable," Tyr said. "There is value in the assumption of innocence, even for Loki."
"No, no," Heimdall said, "I just really didn't want to [[deal with him|Freyja5]] today."They found Loki by the shore.
Or, rather, Heimdall found him. Where Freyja saw only an average shoreline, Heimdall suddenly came to a stop and pointed into the distance. "There!" he cried.
Freyja squinted, and a moment later realized Heimdall was pointing at a seal, sunning itself on some rocks.
Freyja thought him crazy for a moment -- and then the seal turned towards them, and clasped in its mouth was Brisingamen.
"Loki," Freyja said, mostly disappointed.
"I'll handle this," Heimdall declared heroically.
And he strode forward and, with a quick pull of his will, Heimdall transformed into a seal as well.
"Wait, why?" Freyja said.
Heimdall lunged forward, Loki dropped Brisingamen, and the two of them did glorious battle.
As seals.
It was heroic, and hard-fought, and... also pretty absurd, because neither Loki nor Heimdall really knew how to handle the form of a seal, so half of the battle consisted of them slapping at each other with their flippers.
Eventually, Heimdall gained the upper hand. Loki hissed and fled into the ocean, and Heimdall reverted to his normal form and scooped up Brisingamen gingerly. He returned to Freyja.
"Here you are, Lady Freyja," he said, smiling brightly. There was a bruise on his face.
Freyja took Brisingamen and smiled back. "Thank you, dear," she said. "...Although was turning into a seal really necessary?"
Heimdall hesitated. "Admittedly, it was a [[spur of the moment|FreyjaFinal]] decision," he said.<center>And so Brisingamen was returned to Freyja, where it rightfully belonged;
Heimdall returned to his tower, and stood watch again;
(He was pretty pleased with how that went down, all things told!)
And Loki remained as a seal in the ocean for nine days, until the heat died down;
(And when Vidarr eventually learned of Thor's theft, he did, in fact, break Thor's legs.)
Thus the tale ends;
Care to [[listen]] to another?</center><center>Now, the three Aesir sought out Gunnar's son, Hans;
And Odin told him, "Do exactly as you are told,
And stay hidden, no matter [[what|Midgard5]]."</center>"Now what in the world is this?" Skrymir asked.
His tone was mild, but there was something sharp in his gaze as he looked out across the field of grain that had abruptly appeared around the farm. With the setting sun, it looked as if a golden sea had risen from the ground.
"It just appeared," Gunnar lied.
"Did it, now?" Skrymir mused. He drifted through the field, allowing his hands to graze over the grain. Gunnar followed, wringing his hands nervously.
Skrymir came to a stop. He bent down and wrenched an axe out of the ground.
"Is this yours?" Skrymir asked.
"Ah, yes," Gunnar said.
And what Skrymir didn't know was that Gunnar's son, Hans, had been turned temporarily into a grain, and that he was, in fact, a speck of grain stuck on that axe.
Skrymir nodded, and offered the axe to Gunnar. Gunnar accepted it.
"Can't find your son?" Skrymir asked.
"No," Gunnar said.
Skrymir clicked his tongue. "Should really look into that," he said. "Irresponsible. But I suppose it worked out for you today. Goodbye."
And without another word, Skrymir strode off. Gunnar watched him go.
"Huh," Gunnar muttered. "[[Problem solved|Midgard6]]!"So Gunnar quietly thanked Odin, and Hans reverted to his normal form, and the field of grain surrounding the farm dissipated.
The two of them retired for the night.
And the next day, the giant Skrymir returned.
He knocked on the door, smiling politely, and said, "Surely you've found your son by now?"
And Gunnar had hesitated, and lied his way back into his house, and scooped up Hans and fled from the window, begging the gods for help under his breath as he ran.
And one of the gods answered.
"Thank you, thank you," Gunnar said, "thank you... ah..."
"Hoenir."
"Thank you, Lord Hoenir!"
"It's no problem. Now, listen up, [[Hans|Midgard7]]..."<center>Now, Hoenir looked to Gunnar's son, Hans;
And Hoenier told him, "Do exactly as you are told,
And stay hidden, no matter [[what|Midgard8]]."</center>"Now you are really trying my patience," Skrymir said.
He swatted at the air as a pack of seven swans all flew in formations around his head, trumpeting all the while. Skrymir frowned at them in distaste, the most negative emotion he'd shown so far.
"What can I say?" Gunnar said, and he laughed nervously. "Birds, am I right?"
"When I find your son I am going to snap his spine," Skrymir said pleasantly.
"...Ah," Gunnar said.
Swift as a striking serpent, Skrymir lashed out and grabbed hold of one of the swans. It squawked, but before its fellows could do anything, Skrymir ripped its head right off of its body.
And what Skrymir didn't know was that Gunnar's son, Hans, had been turned temporarily into a feather, and that he was, in fact, one of the feathers upon the swan's head.
"Well!" Skrymir said. "It seems you've cheated me again, Gunnar. Honestly quite terrible of you, but surely this will be the last you see of me!"
Skrymir laughed and dropped both parts of the swan onto the ground. He strode off.
Gunnar considered. "Problem... probably [[not solved|Midgard9]]."And the next day, Gunnar was awoken by a familiar knock upon his door.
"I'm really growing quite tired of this!" Skrymir called, when Gunnar didn't even both to answer. "I quite think you're intent to cheat me, Gunnar!"
Gunnar scooped up Hans and fled from the window again, as Skrymir called, "I might just have to kill you for this, Gunnar! For having the arrogance to think you can cheat me!"
And Gunnar had ran, and begged the gods for help once more as he panted...
And one of the gods answered.
"Oh, dear, oh dear!" Loki said. He tutted, taking in Gunnar's disheveled state. "Those idiot friends of mine. Human, I'm so sorry. They've been dealing with a symptom -- not the cause. No need to fear! I'll aid you."
"Truly, Lord?" Gunnar asked.
"None of that title nonsense, now," Loki laughed. "I'm a god, not nobility. Regardless, listen up, [[boy|Midgard10]]..."<center>Now, Loki looked to Gunnar and his son, Hans;
And Loki told them, "Do exactly as you are told,
And do not deviate from my instructions, no matter [[what|Midgard11]]."</center>"I mean I know I've been resorting to threats," Skrymir said, "but I'm just so confused at this point I might keep you alive, just to see what you come up with next."
Gunnar and Skrymir both looked at the boathouse that had been constructed on the farm's property. Skrymir just looked amused, by this point. The boathouse itself was surprising big, with an opening wide enough that Skrymir could just barely fit inside.
"I presume you //still// can't find your son?" Skrymir asked.
"It's wild," Gunnar said. "He must have just scampered off somewhere."
"Of course," Skrymir said.
And out by the nearby beach, Loki, with Hans accompanying him, had rowed out to sea, and he'd casted a fishing hook to the ocean floor. A flounder had caught the hook, and he'd reeled it in quick. He'd turned Hans into a grain, and fed the grain to the flounder, and deposited the flounder back into the ocean.
And so Loki rowed back to the beach, just in time to be caught -- by coincidence, of course -- by the giant Skrymir.
Now, the giant Skrymir had the ability to change his appearance utterly, as evidenced by the fact that he'd been the size of a mountain at first. So where Loki just saw another troublesome jötunn, Skrymir saw Loki, and recognized him.
Skrymir smiled.
"Hello there, stranger," Skrymir said, as Loki beached. "And who, exactly, are you?"
"A friend of Gunnar, here," Loki said, laughing, and he transitioned into the role of a humble human easily. "I've been rowing about at sea for days, now."
"Why stop now?" Skrymir said, smile widening. "I would love a good day of fishing."
Gunnar perked up, encouraged by the idea of the giant leaving for the day, and Loki put a hand to his chin and thought. "Hmm... very well, then! Another day couldn't hurt!"
Skrymir clambered onto Loki's boat, and the two of them, smirking at each other, [[set off|Midgard12]].Two horses drank from a river.
Odin studiously tried to avoid the gaze of the other rider, but it seemed the other guy didn't get the hint.
"Nice horse," the other guy said.
"...Thanks," Odin said tersely.
The horses continued to drink. The river chugged along slowly. Odin hoped--
"Not as good as mine, though," the guy said.
Odin sighed. Odin was the All-Father, which he personally thought should free him from the responsibility of small talk, but the denizens of the realms didn't seem to agree. And Frigg always made fun of him when he turned into a raven to flee from an annoying conversation.
So Odin took a look at the other guy's horse.
It was, he admitted, a good enough horse. Its coat was white, and its mane shone as if it was gold.
But compared to Sleipnir, the eight-legged steed?
"That is not correct," Odin said.
"I bet I could beat you in a race," the other guy said.
"...[[You're on|Thor2]]," Odin said.The giant casted out his line, once, twice, and a third time, and each time he caught a flounder and set it upon the boat.
Upon the first, Loki smiled and said, "An impressive catch! Truly, I am in the presence of a master."
And Skrymir had said, "Why, your flattery is unnecessary. Although it is quite pleasing."
Upon the second, Loki had shifted nervously and said, "My, my, at this rate there won't be any fish left in the ocean."
And Skrymir had said, "Ha! If only, sir. If only."
Upon the third, a flounder pitch black, Loki's eyes had widened, just a fraction, and he had said, "Goodness, save some fish for the rest of us! Give that one to me, why don't you?"
And Skrymir had smiled with victory and said, "No, friend, I think I'll be keeping this one in particular. Why, is there any reason you wouldn't want me to?"
Loki hesitated for a fraction of a second and said, "No, no, of course not. Keep it all you like. I simply wanted it for my own."
"I'm sure," Skrymir had said.
And the two of them had rowed back to the beach, and Skrymir kept the black flounder close to himself. When they reached the beach, Skrymir begun to peel the fish apart.
Loki stood abruptly, eyes alight with panic -- Skrymir laughed at him, a mocking thing -- and Loki accidentally knocked the other two flounders out of the boat, and onto the sand.
And Hans transformed back into his original shape, where he'd been hidden in the first flounder.
It was time for the last stage of the plan.
Hans rose to his feet suddenly and began to sprint. Skrymir's eyes widened, he dropped the black flounder, and he leapt out of the boat and pursued.
Hans ran as fast as his little legs could take him, his body burning with exertion, struggling to suck in air. Fear clouded his mind, and it took all the boy had to remember Loki's instructions.
And Skrymir, despite the length of his legs, struggled, for his massive weight sunk into the sand of the beach and slowed him.
Still, Skrymir pursued as swiftly as he could. When Hans ran into the boathouse, Skrymir ducked just enough to fit into the opening and rushed in after him.
And Skrymir ran straight into the iron stake Gunnar had affixed near the ceiling. It stabbed straight into his forehead and brought Skrymir to a jarring stop.
Skrymir groaned and tried to pull himself free, but his head was stuck good and fast. A river of blood poured from his head rapidly, and Skrymir knew it would be an effort to get free.
Behind him, [[Loki approached|Midgard13]]."I think it's about time we tried diplomacy," Skrymir tried, his words slurring a faint bit.
"Funny," Loki said, shifting his staff into a sword, and with one clean motion he lopped Skrymir's left leg off.
Skrymir let out a strangled cry. "Kind of a dick move!" he said, squirming. "Attacking while I'm stuck!"
"I'm not exactly a man of honor," Loki said. He raised his blade again, but frowned -- Skrymir's wound closed, his leg reattaching itself to his body quickly.
Loki took a few steps to the side.
"Is this you waiting for me to start diplomacy?" Skrymir questioned. He wiggled, and the spike in his head began to loosen. "I can't see you, but I am assuming negotiations are about to begin."
"Of course," Loki said. "Here's the deal: if you can flee, you live."
Loki severed Skrymir's other leg, and swiftly tossed a bundle of sticks into the wound, and Skrymir found that the tendons of his leg failed to grow back with the blockage.
Skrymir screamed out in pain, but the spike in his head was good and loose. "You may have outsmarted me in one regard," he admitted, "but I have you beat in another."
"Oh?" Loki questioned, and despite himself he hesitated, curious to see what Skrymir had to say.
"I've never told you my name," Skrymir declared, "so you have no idea that it's //me//!"
And Skrymir shifted his visage to something more familiar, and Loki's eyes widened as he recognized a smaller version of the form of Utgard-Loki.
"Oh you fucking bastard," Loki said, and stabbed downwards -- but Skrymir had jarred his head free, and he clambered out of the way, dragging himself with his hands out of the blade's path.
Skrymir laughed at him, a deep, booming sound, and a moment later he disappeared.
Loki barged into the boathouse and swung his sword wildly. It was just an illusion! Skrymir was still here! But despite his best efforts, he couldn't find the hidden form of Skrymir.
"You can laugh all you like," Loki called to the empty room, "but I've beaten you. If you bother this family again I won't bother to gloat before I end you."
Silence met him.
Loki sighed. He chalked this one up as a [[win|Midgard14]]."Here you are," Loki said. "One son."
Loki offered Hans to his father. "Hi Dad," Hans said.
Gunnar grabbed Hans under the armpits and held him. The two of them shared mild looks with each other.
"The jötunn problem should be dealt with," Loki said, "but maybe stop the gambling."
Gunnar blinked. "Truly?"
"Truly," Loki said.
Gunnar pulled Hans close and said, "Oh, thank you--!"
"Oh, none of that now. I don't need the praise, I was just doing my duty." Loki waited a moment and then laughed. "Just kidding. Feel free to praise me relentlessly."
Loki smiled at the two of them and then strode off.
"He did it," Gunnar muttered. "He truly [[did it|MidgardFinal]]."<center>And so Gunnar and Hans retired for the night;
And on the next morning, the jötunn Skrymir did not return;
Although Loki watched the family for a good nine weeks afterwards,
And checked in for a good few years afterwards.
He only stopped checking when...
...well, that's for another time.
Thus the tale ends;
Care to [[listen]] to another?</center>The good news: Odin's intelligence and the prowess of his steed was uncontested. He had won the race.
The bad news: He hadn't won the race handily enough. The other guy had slipped through the gates of Asgard, hot on Odin's heels, and now Odin wasn't sure how to toss him out.
"So this is Asgard?" the other guy asked, spurring his horse forward (and completely ignoring the results of the race, Odin noted, irked.) "Meh. I've seen better realms."
From atop his tower, Heimdall looked down at the two of them. Odin could just barely see his face -- his expression judgmental, as if asking, //"Have you just allowed a stranger to intrude into Asgard?"//
The answer to that was no. Of course Odin hadn't done that.
"Would you like a drink?" Odin asked, because this man was clearly a //guest//.
"Absolutely!" the other guy said.
If anything, Heimdall's stare turned more judgmental.
Heimdall could just deal with it, Odin decided. Heimdall wasn't the All-Father. Odin was. And Odin [[knew what he was doing|Thor3]]."Why have you done this?" Frigg asked.
"Everything is going according to plan," Odin responded.
The other guy -- who was named Hrungnir, apparently -- had taken to the drink well. A little too well, actually. By now he was flush with drink, and, well, not too shy in showing that off.
"This place fuckin' sucks!" Hrungnir said, his words slurred as he staggered through Asgard. "I'm gonna... steal Valhall and take it... take it to the bighome. Gonna beat all o' you up..."
A variety of Aesir watched him stumble around in a circle. No one wanted to do anything since Odin had technically invited him in and guest right and all, but they were all clearly judgmental.
"What plan?" Frigg asked, exasperated.
"The plan," Odin said, "to tell Thor to beat this guy up. Hey! You!"
Odin pointed towards the quick-footed messenger, Skirnir.
"Yeah?" Skirnir said.
"Go find Thor and tell him to beat this guy up," Odin said.
"Sure thing," Skirnir said, and he raced off.
"Whuh?" Hrungnir said. He blinked sluggishly, and, ten solid seconds later, startled. "Beat me... up? Nah! I'm gonna beat //him// up!"
Hrungnir swayed, tripped and fell.
"Maybe we'll give him a bit to sober up," Odin suggested.
"Why?" Frigg asked.
[[Odin shrugged|Thor4]].<center>"Who am I meant to fight?" Thor demanded.
Skirnir shrugged. "Some weird guy the All-Father invited in. Not sure what's up with that. But I heard he's bringing a friend."
"A friend?! Cowardly! But fine! In that case, I will [[bring a friend|Thor5]] as well!"</center>Hrungnir had sobered up just faintly, and stood on the dueling grounds with his pal, Mokkurkálfi. Although "pal" was a bit of a strong word, because Mokkurkálfi was an automaton made of hardened clay and mud. It had a loosely humanoid shape, it was nearly ten feet tall, and it glanced around Asgard nervously.
Hrungnir had demanded it be allowed into Asgard to fight alongside him, and Odin had shrugged and said, "Sure, why not?"
So the two of them had squared up at the training grounds within Asgard, so boastful (well, one of them, at least -- Mokkurkálfi didn't speak.)
And the Aesir had gathered to spectate, because if there was anything they liked, it was grouping up to spectate fights.
"Where's the guy I'm gonna take down?" Hrungnir said. "Too scared to fight me? I would be!"
And then Thor approached.
He walked without the bold swagger that Hrungnir moved with, but rather with the steady, self-assured confidence of a man who knew he was going to win. And right alongside him was his silent brother, Vidarr, walking with the grace of a predator.
"Oh, shit!" Hrungnir called. "It's the two losers here to lose!"
Mokkurkálfi, meanwhile, resisted the urge to cut and run then and there.
As if sensing weakness, Vidarr looked straight at Mokkurkálfi and cracked his neck, expression unchanging.
Mokkurkálfi gulped.
"Had to bring a fuckin' friend to help you out?" Hrungnir asked, despite the fact that he'd done that first.
"Enough talk!" Thor boomed. "Let us [[fight|Thor6]]!"Without hesitation Hrungnir whipped out a large, square brick of rock -- a whetstone -- and he flung it at Thor.
The whetstone smashed into Thor's head and cracked, falling to bits, some of which remained embedded in Thor's head.
Thor cracked his knuckles and smiled dangerously.
Thor rushed forward, and Hrungnir pulled forth a shield made of stone and met the Aesir. The two of them collided, forcing Hrungnir back a step, and Hrungnir dug his heels into the ground and held.
With one hand, he pushed at Thor with the shield, and with the other he pulled free an axe. He swung.
Thor stepped back and caught the axe. Hrungnir's eyes widened and he bashed his shield into Thor. Thor staggered back, but with two hands on each side of the axe head, he wrenched the axe out of Hrungnir's hands.
"Hey," Hrungnir said, "that's mine!"
"I'll give it back!" Thor promised.
Hrungnir scowled and rushed forward, balling his free hand into a fist. Thor twisted the axe around and feinted towards Hrungnir's legs. Hrungnir brought the shield low, just in time for Thor to swing the axe right into Hrungnir's neck, taking his head off entirely.
The rest of Hrungnir's body toppled forward, carried by the momentum, and [[fell|Thor7]] onto Thor."This man," Thor rasped, "is heavy!"
Thor squirmed underneath the body of Hrungnir, but no matter how hard he pushed, the large man's body didn't move or shift. Thor exhaled an irritated breath and cast out his gaze. "Brother!"
Vidarr approached, coated with flecks of clay. In his hands he held an unusually large horse heart.
"Is that from the clay creature?" Thor asked, strained.
Vidarr nodded. He took a large bite out of the heart. Woah.
"Impressive!" Thor wheezed. "Now help me lift this man off of me!"
Vidarr tilted his head and considered.
"Brother, please!"
Vidarr put a hand to his heart, nodded to Thor, and walked away.
"Damn you, Vidarr," Thor mumbled.
Thor pushed and strained and grunted, but Hrungnir's corpse barely shifted.
Odin approached. "You look like you could use a hand," he commented, coming to a stop near Thor.
"Yes, I //could//, Father!" Thor groaned. "After slaying //your// problem!"
"That's rough," Odin said, and he walked away.
Thor nearly screamed. Why was his family like this.
A moment later, Baldur came to a stop and smiled down at Thor. He grabbed hold of Hrungnir's body and started to lift.
At least Thor had one reliable family member, he thought.
Unfortunately, while Baldur had the spirit, he did not have the strength. Hrungnir's body refused to move. Why was he so [[heavy|Thor8]]?!In a matter of minutes, trying to help Thor turned into a game, because that was one of the other things the Aesir were good at.
Ullr and Bragi, Meili and Itreksiod, and even Heimdall stopped by to try their hand at hoisting the body off of Thor. Thor wasn't sure why any of them tried, since Baldur was stronger than all of them, but he didn't say anything to that effect.
Mostly he just cursed at them.
After around seventeen minutes, Thor was ready to give up and accept his new life underneath the corpse -- when suddenly Hrungnir was lifted off of him entirely, and tossed to the side.
Thor took a deep breath, relishing in his unconstricted airway, and climbed to his feet. He looked around, ready to thank his helper, and saw no one.
"Huh?" Thor said.
Heimdall pointed down. Thor looked, and saw his own three-year-old son, Magni!
"Magni!" Thor cried, scooping up his son. "Why are you even out here?! No, no, it doesn't matter -- you've done me proud, son!"
Magni stared up at Thor and smiled.
"You deserve a reward for this!" Thor boomed.
"The intruder rode in on an intriguing horse," Heimdall said.
"That's perfect," Thor whispered (relative to himself -- everyone within a twenty-foot radius heard it.) "Just what every three-year-old wants. A [[horse|ThorFinal]]."<center>And so the golden-maned steed Gullfaxi was given to Magni;
Thor gained another title under his belt;
And Odin learned... just about nothing;
Thus the tale ends;
Care to [[listen]] to another?</center>Freyr was moping.
He'd spent all his time this past week in the gardens of Asgard, staring off into space and sighing wistfully. It had brought on a wave of concern, as the others asked,
"Swift Skirnir! Is there any reason for the bout of melancholy that has befallen my friend Freyr? I am worried for him!" Thor.
"Skirnir, do you know what's wrong with my son? He hasn't smiled in days." Njord.
"Servant, what's the matter with Freyr? Why has he been such a sad sack recently?" Loki.
And Skirnir responded the same way to all of them: "Freyr met a lady recently and he says he's in live."
"Oh! In that case, I wish him the best in his challenge of romance! I'm sure it will work out!" Thor, again.
"Oh. That's... odd. I don't recall him going to Vanaheim recently?" Njord, again.
"He met her last week? And he's been moping about it since then? That's... rather pathetic." Loki, again.
Skirnir had thanked Thor for his well-wishes, quietly dodged any questions from Njord, and told Loki to fuck off
But, honestly, Skirnir was getting kind of [[tired of it|Freyr2]] too.On day nine, he approached Freyr and said, "Why not just go and talk to her again?"
Freyr's eyes went wide. "No," he said, "no, I can't do that!"
"Why not," Skirnir said, exhausted.
"What if it doesn't work out?" Freyr said.
Freyr and the other Vanir sometimes liked to complain about the Aesir. Not too often, not too loudly, and not too seriously, but they did it.
Freyr liked to complain about how //loud// the Aesir were. How they escalated mild matters to life-or-death, how they only valued the rarest of treasures, and how much insanity they went to for the sake of their glory.
Skirnir had never really said it, but no matter how much Freyr liked to pretend to be the reasonable, humble one, he got along with the Aesir better than any of the other Vanir for a reason.
But a moment later, Freyr's eyes came alight as he regarded Skirnir. "Wait a minute," he said. "Skirnir -- could you set up a meeting with her in my name?"
"That's not really in my job description," Skirnir said.
And Freyr instantly began a pitch about how he couldn't get caught meeting with her because his father wanted him to marry one of the Vanir and how he could pay Skirnir's weight in gold and yadda yadda.
"Not my job, man," Skirnir said.
Freyr wilted like a dead flower.
Skirnir considered. "How about this," he said finally. "I don't need any gold. Instead, give me that sword of yours, the one that fights on its own, and I'll //try// to get you a meeting."
Freyr put a hand to his chin and considered.
"It's my greatest weapon," he muttered. "...But... I did really like her..."
Skirnir crossed his arms and waited.
"Alright," Freyr decided. "Sure. I'm sure this won't cause any problems in the [[future|Freyr3]]."Her name was Gerd, and she was a jötunn, which explained to Skirnir why Freyr was so desperate to keep things quiet.
So Skirnir packed a bag and rode to the court of Aegir and Rán, the lord and lady of the sea, who were, in a technical sense, members of the Aesir -- but in practice, even less so than Tyr.
Traveling to their court was never easy -- Skirnir's normal horse was too skittish to dive into the sea, and so he'd had to borrow another horse from Freyr.
(Heh. "Borrow." He'd bargained for it as another payment for the task, along with the sword, and nearly as valuable -- Freyr's horses were always good.)
Skirnir rode further and further below, his horse galloping steadily as the light around them disappeared and the air was replaced with oppressive currents.
And he came upon Aegir's hall, the massive thing at the bottom of the seas.
A herdsman sat near the gates of the hall with a pack of dogs leashed nearby him. The dogs barked and bayed as Skirnir approached. Thankfully, his new steed didn't startle.
"Hey, man," Skirnir said. "Mind letting me in? I'm here to speak to one Lady Gerd?"
The herdsman laughed in his face. "You're not talking to the lady," he said.
Skirnir shrugged. "Okay." And then [[he left|Freyr4]].Skirnir didn't actually leave, of course, but he just knew what would have happened if he'd stayed. He and that herdsman would have escalated the whole affair into some obnoxious thing, maybe a flyting, maybe a duel or something equally as ridiculous, and Skirnir just didn't care for the idea. He was good not doing all of that.
So instead he tactically retreated, and waited for night to fall.
It was a bit hard to tell, given how deep underwater they were, but eventually the denizens of Aegir's hall retired for the night, and Skirnir snuck over the fence and slipped into Gerd's hall.
He came into Gerd's room as she slept, and, aware of how creepy he was being, knocked his knuckles against the wall, waking her immediately.
Gerd's eyes flew open, and when she saw Skirnir she sprang up. Skirnir waited, allowing her a few minutes to awaken.
"So," Skirnir said.
Gerd raises an eyebrow. "...Why have you broken into my room?" she said blearily.
"I know this is odd," Skirnir said, "but you know Freyr?"
Gerd's lips twitched into a smile briefly, before she noticeably shifted back to neutrality. "Yes. I met him recently. Why?"
"He's stupid and he's fallen head over heels for you," Skirnir said. "Pleaes, I don't care if you feel the same or not, tell me 'no' and I can leave and tell the idiot to get over it."
Gerd bit her lip. "I... do feel similarly," she said, which, great, Skirnir thought! "But my father doesn't approve."
"Well hold on, now, his father doesn't approve either," Skirnir said.
"That... makes me want to continue things less?"
Ah, he'd blundered. Skirnir shifted course. "Well ignore that and consider the fact that I //am// willing to bribe you to meet with him at least once."
Gerd blinked.
"How would you like," Skirnir dug into his pack, "eleven apples of eternal life?"
"I don't know," Gerd said hesitantly.
"How about this ring?" Skirnir produced the golden ring from his pack. "Every ninth night it produces eight copies of itself. I think it's called Draupnir? Don't ask me how I got this."
"I don't know," Gerd said, less hesitant.
Skirnir caught on. "A shrewd businesswoman," he said approvingly. "My final bribe, then. Along with those previous offers, what about this cool magic wand?"
Gerd considered the assortment of bribes. "Alright," she agreed, eyes twinkling with humor. "I suppose you've talked me into it. I'll meet with Freyr again, then, in nine nights at Barri."
"Pleasure doing business with you," Skirnir said. "Also, uh, get better security."
Skirnir took his [[leave|Freyr5]].When Skirnir directed his new horse into the stables of Asgard, Freyr set upon him instantly. "Tell me you have good news?"
"She'll meet with you in the forest of Barri," Skirnir said.
"Yes!" Freyr cheered, doing a little hop.
"But you'll have to wait nine nights," Skirnir added.
"No!" Freyr wailed, putting his head in his hands.
"No?"
"Nine nights," Freyr whispered. "Practically an eternity to wait to meet with //her// again..."
"Eugh," Skirnir said. "Save it for the poetry, bucko."
Skirnir stabled his horse and walked off as Freyr muttered to himself.
"And thanks for the [[magic sword|FreyrFinal]]!"<center>And so Freyr and Gerd met in the tranquil forest Barri,
And eventually love blossomed between the two of them,
And the two of them wed.
Her parents Aegir and Rán grumbled about it, but accepted it;
And eventually Njord did too;
Thus the tale ends;
Care to [[listen]] to another?</center>